Saturday, August 7, 2010

Life Can Be Crazy

I have finally been able to sit, catch my breath, and blog for a bit:) Can I just say that life never slows down, I swear! It's insane. One thing after the next. I work every day of my life and free time is truly a sweet rarity theses days. Which is nice. I am one of those weirdos who thrives off being busy. It makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something.

So update on Sophie. She just had her 2 month Dr. appointment and she's almost 10 pounds!!! We thought she'd never get there she's so tiny. Her mom says she's more and more alert all the time and she's starting to hold her head up all by herself. I can't believe how time flies...So all in all she's doing wonderful. Healthy as ever!

I attended the FSA (Families Supporting Adoption) conference last week, and had a fabulous time. I stayed at a hotel with some of my close birth mother friends, and we had a blast. I learned A TON. I met tons of people associated with adoption in several different ways and it was wonderful hearing all ends of adoption stories. I made new friends and had a great time:) Troy and Rebecca were unable to attend this year, but they best come next year! haha While at the conference, I had the goal in mind to learn more about adoptive couples, and what they experience. I wanted to understand adoption from their perspective. So, I went to a few classes that were mostly intended for adoptive couples. I was shocked to learn that some ACs don't understand why birth mothers experience such pain and grief with an open adoption. I was also surprised to hear that some ACs miss and love their birth mothers like family, where as others don't. I liked hearing about the grief that ACs experience with infertility and the joy that comes when they have the opportunity to start a family. I feel honored to be a birth mother. Even with the good, the bad, and the ugly, it's all worth it.

Yesterday I met with my case worker and discussed where I'm at with my healing process. I told her that I no longer NEED to see Sophie in order to heal. I realize now that my healing is up to me, in my mind and in my heart. It's all dependent on my own personal choices. I have reached the point where visits with Sophie and her family are times I look forward to, like Christmas:) My happiness should not be dependent on anyone but me, and I've finally reached that point. Apparently I'm a bit ahead of the game, which was so good to hear. My case worker wants me to start being a little more involved with FSA, so she is going to assign me to a sub committee. My job will be to blog/photograph all of FSA's events on our chapter blog. I'll also interview adoptive couples and post their stories on line. I'm looking forward to it all!:)

Well, back to reality! 'Till next time!

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