Saturday, October 22, 2011

Looking Forward To It::)

So, before I dig into the topic of this post I have some updates and good news:) First, I CAN NOT believe Sophie is over 16 months old. She is SO big!!! She's absolutely to-die-for-cute still and her strawberry blonde hair is getting longer every day. She says small words like 'Hi' and 'mom' and 'dad' and she calls her binkie 'gei gei'. She's super independent with a running mind of her own and she'll never do any of her cute little tricks on demand. A few weeks ago she and her family had a dinner date at my house. It was just like any other visit, except this time, my room mates got to come along and meet her. It was so good to let them into my adoption story and give them a feel for what open adoption is like. They loved Soph and the night was a blast, here are some pics from the event:)
Just like every other time, I loved seeing the fam:) It's become less frequent now that i'm back in school and we're all super busy but whenever they come to visit or I go over there it's the best thing ever:) We've just recently picked up on Skyping, which makes it lots easier to stay in touch when we're farther away...and speaking of far away! I have some exciting news!! I was just recently accepted to travel to Tanzania next summer and participate with H.E.L.P International for four months. We'll be focusing on the public health needs within the country. I'm so excited and I'm more than grateful for the opportunity. I plan on using this blog as a way to publish my experience while I'm in Tanzania (assuming we'll have some form of internet). And hopefully I'll have a link up soon where friends and family can learn more about what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, and what we at H.E.L.P. International hope to accomplish. But for now, you can visit this link

That's my good news minute for the day:) I can't wait to get to Africa and fulfill something I've dreamed of doing my entire life. Now the real reason I wanted to write today was to shed some light on my newest self discovery. Lately I've been doing a lot of 'self-help' which normally implies that I've been sleeping more, eating better, and going to sleep earlier. But that's not what I'm talking about. I mean the deep stuff. Where I stay up late looking up motivational quotes just to write on my mirror, read religious books, do lots of journal writing, and just try to center my life and be my best self. And let me tell you, IT IS HARD. It's so easy to get caught up in your busy life style and forget what life's all about. I'm so bad at LIVING. So bad, in fact, that my case worker worked with me to set some goals this semester, and one of them was to get a B in the class of my choice; which meant giving myself more time to LIVE, have fun, and develop who I am. I'm slowly learning that work is good but too much of anything isn't healthy and I need to let myself breathe, relax, and 'forget' to do my homework every now and then. I've discovered my three favorite things to do when I want to relax and get in touch with my 'emotional' side are: find quotes and fill up the handy dandy quote book, write music/lyrics, and browse for vintage photos. It's amazing, the things i've learned about myself now that I've become more aware of life itself. During one of my quote searches I found this:

STORY OF MY LIFE. I love love love this quote and will hereby live by it for the rest of my life. I truly think I have kept myself even busier than normal the past year and a half because I wanted to make Sophie and her family proud. What I failed to realize is that they'll be proud no matter what I'm doing, as long as I'm doing what makes me happy. I don't need to kill myself to prove anything to anyone, and believe it or not, I'm just learning that life lesson...sad I know haha I wish I would have learned it a long time ago. Through this process I've developed a more positive attitude as well, avoiding all kind of negative thoughts and actions.

K, maybe not that positive, but pretty close;) Things are good now, which means given my luck, things are about to get real scary haha but hey, imma enjoy it while I can and brace myself for the unexpected. P.S. I know this post was short, which means my next one is going to be real long, just a warning;)