Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Coping at Almost Five Months

I woke up today, looked out my window, and what did I see? SNOW...yup that's right, SNOW. Not a good start to my day. I have the worst physical and emotional reactions to cold weather. No one knows why, it's been that way since I was a tiny chidlet.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot lately about adoptive couples and the different adoption relationships I've seen over the past year. I just want to say, I AM SO BLESSED. Troy and Rebecca, (for those of you who don't know, they're Sophie's parents) are SO GREAT. I have seen birth mom's crushed and ruined because of the relationships they strive to maintain between their adoptive families. It breaks my heart and I often find myself aching for them, somehow wishing I could mend the issues. But I can't, every adoption is SO different and you have to take it all in stride.

I just feel like bragging for a moment, I'm sorry if this is annoying to any of you. But I want to voice my gratitude. Troy and Rebecca have done more for me and my family then I ever imagined. They go over board to make sure I feel loved and appreciated. I am never afraid to confront them with an issue or question because I know no doors will be slammed in my face. They are always there to listen and reevaluate our relationship so that everyone involved is well taken care of. They are so perfect for my little girl. I couldn't have asked for better. I can't even express to you how comforting it is as a birth mother, to know that Sophie will ALWAYS be loved and taken care of. I have no fear and no regrets. That is something that not all birth moms can say. THANK YOU.

Adoptive couples cease to amaze me. I have met several couples over the past year, and not one of them didn't I like. Looking back at the beginning of my pregnancy, I remember feeling some resentment towards them. The adoption world was so new to me, I hardly understood a thing. I just had absolutely NO idea what they go through, or that they even experience grief. I never would have known how difficult adoption is for adoptive couples had I not gone through my own adoption experience. It wasn't until just before my own placement, that I learned what placement was like for ACs. Did I think that day was hard for them? NOPE. They were gaining an addition to their family, what's so sad about that? Well, there's a lot of pain when you know you're happiness comes at another's expense. It's the most bittersweet moment for them, and it's not all roses and daises...despite what I initially thought. ACs have a strength I am just beginning to comprehend. They are truly amazing, strong people who have inspired me in many ways and on many different occasions.

Here are some recent pics of the Soph!:) She's getting cuter every day! Halloween is coming up and Rebecca made her the CUTEST costume, I'll be sure to post pictures of that soon.


  1. Thanks for posting this. Until, I found blogs, I never even thought how adoptive couples might experience sadness when they adopt a baby. But like you said they are gaining a member of a family through a loss. I think it's great that you have a wonderful relationship with her parents and I hope that continues to grow. I think adoptive couples can either grow stronger and be a better person with that sadness over raising someone elses baby or deny that fear and loss and shut the door on the birthmoms.

  2. Beautiful...thank you for this. What a beautiful tribute to her parents. I have never heard this said from a birthmother. Oh how this journey has grown you in more ways than the obvious! Can't wait to see your daughter's first Halloween! The photo of her and her Mom is gorgoeous!!!! Would you be okay if I linked your blog off mine in a post sometime? I just LOVE your perspective. It is SO refreshing with all of the adoption hate that can be prevalent out there.

  3. Yes! you're more than welcome to link my blog. Thank you both for your kind remarks! you're wonderful! And i was the same way, blogs really helped me learn more about what the Adoptive couples go through. It's so interesting to learn all sides of a story.