As you all know, nothing and no one can fully prepare you for married life. You kinda just close your eyes and jump into the water hoping your fourth grade swim lessons were adequate. But that's what it's all about. LEARNING. And growing together as you learn. Now Spenser and I have only been married a few weeks so we're not experts on anything, but we have learned SOME things. And here, I will share.
Sometimes I want to have full conversations early in the morning, or really late at night, and Spenser doesn't like it. Go figure? Maybe because it's been a long day and he's either trying to catch every possible minute of sleep or he's ready to pass out. I suck at this. And he puts up with me so well, but I've gotten better I swear. There's just something about beds....they make me wanna do anything but sleep.
As funny as this meme is, I have to disagree. Believe it or not I DO want Spenser's opinion on just about everything. Turns out, it drives me CRAZY when we're making a decision and he hasn't formed an opinion on it yet. To me, if my man has an opinion or an idea, it means he's been listening, and he's genuinely involved. And each day of our marriage I'm learning more and more about just how much Spenser really DOES listen and DOES care, I just need to give him two seconds to formulate in his brain exactly how to say it, otherwise, like ol' Cosby, it's just easier to repeat what I said.
Oh.my.gosh. Best part of marriage. Okay, one of the best parts. But the feeling I get at the end of each day when I realize, "Oh ya, I get to go home to Spenser tonight. We get to get ready for bed together, and then cuddle all the way to sleep, and wake up the next day with all the sheets on his side, and half my body off the edge...this is FANTASTIC!" There's somethin about it, I LOVE having daily sleep overs:)
This is what I've learned. Any space Spenser and I had, any boundaries or barriers, are now gone. Privacy? Ya, maybe in your journal. But that's about it. There's no such thing as being too close, or too clingy. At least not yet....And turns out, I'm a lot more touchy feely than I thought. I'm not the type, and my love language isn't affection, though Spenser's is. HOWEVER, if Spenser is in the same room as me, I lose all concentration and I just wanna touch him, hug him, bug him, bite his shoulder, cuddle up next to him, it doesn't matter. I can't ever get enough!!! I don't get it!!! And that leads me to the next one....
I think I must be so annoying. He doesn't tell me I am. He probably never would even if I was. But heck, I would be so annoyed with me. I'm giddy all the time, completely non-serious, and crazy clingy. Not like gross high school girlfriend in public clingy. It's just when we're home together, and I finally have him all to myself. I don't know what's gotten in to me, but we love it so who cares!!!
Ahhh:) *sigh* Being married is so conducive to making your spouse dislike someone they've never even met. It sounds so wrong, and I think HATE is a strong word, but when there's someone at work, or in the family that is just really making your life a living hell, what better thing than to go home and tell your husband or wife? And have them completely agree with absolutely everything you say? No more pent up anger or frustration here people, I've found the perfect outlet.
This is probably one of the best lesson I've ever learned. And it took being with Spenser for me to learn it. I've always been stubborn, hard headed, and set it my ways. And still am. But now I find myself completely willing to drop all my pride whenever a disagreement rolls around. Wrong or right, I'd rather make Spenser feel loved by me through anything than win an argument, or convince him I'm right. If we get upset over something, I internally start to panic and realize my big mouth can shut up for a time, and resolve the issue with kindness. That sounds so simple, and is probably something most of you a;ready do. But it is SO NEW for me. I've never felt like that before in a relationship, because I've never cared this much.
Anyway, short post. My fingers were aching to write. And more is coming very soon. More wedding, humor, and finally adoption (haven't posted on that in awhile). Later!
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