This is one of the first posts I've ever written that will have absolutely nothing to do with adoption. It's a post to get my story out as quick as possible so friends and family are aware of what has just taken place. So, here I go...
As many of you know I left the United States on May 8th to spend the summer in Tanzania, Africa. The trip was set to last until August 22nd but was cut short on June 5th. Before I begin I just want to say that what I saw and what I learned within the short month I was in Africa are lessons and experiences I will NEVER forget. My time in Arusha changed my life as did all the people there. We had an amazing group and I developed some friendships that I'll cling on to forever. I miss that place more than I've missed anything in a long time and I KNOW I'll go back someday.
So, here's the story. And before I give details I have to let you know I may not be telling the story EXACTLY as it happened with every detail included because quite frankly, I don't remember. I hit my head really hard and have been experiencing some hefty amnesia since it happened. So, what I'm writing is a mix of blurred memories and reiteration from my friend Jeff (who witnessed both incidents and could probably tell the story better than I can). But I'll do my best!
Last Saturday, exactly a week ago from today, our group took a trip out of the city to a school for orphans and street children. I remember walking around on the field with the kids but never running or getting tired. With my heart disease I have to watch my exertion as it is and I've become an expert at telling when my heart is racing too fast and when I need to stop. But this time, I wasn't exerting myself and I did NOT see it coming. Jeff said he looked over at me and saw my body go limp and just drop to the ground, hitting my head pretty hard on the dirt floor. He ran over, calling the rest of the group. And I don't know exact details of what took place after that except that they administered CPR and got me loaded into the van. They drove as fast as they could out of the village and back into the city, to the hospital where they got me hooked up to some IV fluid and Oxygen. I am told I came to about 30 minutes after that and was acting myself, joking with the other volunteers. But all I remember is my head throbbing and throwing up, probably due to the concussion. The doctors chose to keep me overnight to watch my condition because I was showing signs of serious head trauma. So, Chanel and I cuddled up on my little bed and got whatever sleep we could (covered in dirt and three shades tanner because of it). Then the next day I was discharged around two p.m. All I remember from that Sunday is showering back at the house. But I know that around 5 p.m. we started walking to one of our favorite local restaurants for dinner. I walked alongside Jeff and he tells me we were talking about the incident the day before and he was worried something else was going to happen and that I wasn't okay. Well, obviously he was right because soon after that I looked at him and collapsed again. Thank goodness he caught me this time because a second blow to the head probably would have made things much worse. He said I turned blue and started to foam at the mouth (lovely I know). The rest of the team was close by so they ran over and got rescue breaths going pretty quick. A lady across the street saw what happened and had the whole team load me up in her car and rush us back to the hospital.
Again, they hooked me up to IV fluid and Oxygen and I came to soon thereafter. I started talking and acting myself but I couldn't tell ya what I said because that entire evening is wiped clean. I do know that we were on the phone with my parents, my cardiologist, and the director of H.E.L.P. for several hours trying to decide what to do. We had two options: the first was to drive straight to Aga Khan University Hospital in Nairobi, Kenya about three-four hours away. The second option was to wait until 6 a.m. and board our flight to Nairobi. The problem about waiting until 6 a.m. was that my condition was time sensitive and I needed a CT scan and other medical care STAT. The problem with driving across the border through Africa in the middle of the night was just that...it's a problem. But I felt good about driving and something was telling me to stop arguing with all third parties and just GO. Even though everyone on the other end of the phone wanted us to wait for the flight.
Also, I have to mention my three life savers that stuck by me the ENTIRE weekend through this crazy adventure. Jeff, Brandon, and Chanel (one of our country directors). When I told Chanel we needed to just go and drive right away, she agreed and quickly hired a van to get us there. Jeff and Brandon ran back to the house and got all our passports and as soon as they got back we loaded into the van and went on our way. At one point my dad called us and was telling Chanel to "make sure ShaNae does not board that van". She handed the phone to me and I said, "Dad, we're already on our way" and with a little more explanation he was on board with our decision and said "drive fast, be safe, we're all praying for you". So, off we went on what turned out to be the smoothest drive I had my whole month in Africa. Yeah, we got stopped a few times and had to cross the border but at every checkpoint the officers sent us on our way as soon as they saw me sitting there with my eyes closed and an IV line hooked into my arm. Note: if you travel through Africa at night, feign illness and you'll make it through;). But luckily we got through quickly because our situation was serious.
Once we got to the hospital in Nairobi they immediately started giving me necessary treatment, including a CT scan. They ran one test after the other which I know was a benefit of arriving at 3 in the morning. Had we arrived around 9 following our flight the hospital would have already been full with patients and their response much slower. So we count our blessings. I don't remember hardly any of that but I do know they kept me over night and I got to see my travel buddies only every now and then. Again, we were on the phone back in forth with several parties trying to make a decision. Long story short, H.E.L.P. chose to evacuate both me and Jeff the night of the 5th at 11 p.m. So, we left the hospital around 5 and drove through Nairobi rush hour traffic to the airport. This sounds cheesy but saying goodbye to Chanel and Brandon at the airport was SO hard. It meant saying goodbye to them and all the rest of Africa and what I thought my summer was going to consist of. It was hard, and I was extremely bitter I'll admit it. After that we waited for our flight, all the while drinking LOTS of water provided by my ever careful (or scarred for life) escort Jeff (you're a champ, thanks a million).
The whole way home I tried to remember what i could but couldn't recollect much. And here's the honest truth. I am extremely sad to be home. I cried a lot in the hospital and I cried on the plane. It breaks my heart to know I won't finish what I started back home in Tanzania. I do not understand why any of this happened. Why dehydration affected my heart so negatively or why the second collapse even took place. I am grateful my defibrillator worked and shocked my heart appropriately on saturday. And I'm grateful for all the wonderful people that took care of me. This is a huge detour I didn't expect to take and the next few weeks we'll be doing more testing and fighting to get me into the Mayo clinic for open heart surgery. I hope it happens because if I came home from Africa, I pray I came home for something big. a.k.a. a surgery that will make it possible for me to travel back to Africa in the future. So, right now I'm just trying to get my life back home in order and figure out what to do next. And, like I said my amnesia has affected a lot. Including my relationships so we're working on that too.
And that's that! Two heart attacks and an emotional week are just the start to an interesting summer I'm sure. So, I'll keep y'all posted and I pray for the best.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Couple Spotlight!:)
Hey All! Just wanted to drop a spotlight on an ADORABLE couple I was introduced to via a mutual friend. Their names are Sharlie and Andy, and they have one cute little boy named Tavin. They are a family of three hoping to become four through the miracle of adoption. I highly reccommend checking out their blog at http://www.sharlieandandy.blogspot.com/. They have tons of pictures and wonderful insight into their lives. If you or someone you know are expecting and are even slightly considering adoption, CHECK THEM OUT. Here are some photos for a sneak peak!
Good luck to you guys, I can't wait to see how things turn out for you!!!
Good luck to you guys, I can't wait to see how things turn out for you!!!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Best December Yet and On To The New Year
Good afternoon y'all. It feels good to sit down and write:) Today I'm excited to shed some light on the past month, the fun we spent with Sophie and her Fam for the Holidays, and the exciting future. School is out for another week and a half and I'm taking this time to decompress and get ready for the next semester. And what a semester it will be. But before I get to that I'd like to talk adoption.
Obviously I have strong feelings about adoption. And this past month I have been SO grateful for the blessing it is in my life. I've had the amazing opportunity to speak on panels and at different high schools. And just recently I did a presentation at my very own American Fork High. It was fun to go back and see some familiar faces, but much more, share my story with my younger siblings and their friends in the room. We shared laughs and tears and it was one of the best adoption experiences I've ever had. I've also met some incredible adoptive couples and been introduced to their stories. I can't wait to see where this road takes them and I absolutely love and admire them for their strength. We also shared some good times with the Matheson clan as they spent time in our home for my birthday, and then for Christmas. They are the most beautiful family and I can't even express how much I love and adore every single one of them. Sophie is getting so big. She's talking, and boy does she have spirit. That girl is one spit fire. I tried to convince Troy and Rebecca that nurture was playing a bigger part than nature, but they are sure she's a mini me--completely stubborn and sassy. I can't say I'm sorry though, she needs those attributes in order to survive her fun-loving and adventurous brothers:)
During this holiday season we become centered on gratitude. I am so grateful for Troy and Rebecca. As I watch Sophie grow, and see how much she is loved and cared for I can not help but thank Heavenly Father for the amazing people she has to call Mom and Dad. They are two of the most incredible parents I've ever known. And parenting is hard. No one is perfect. But I want to be like them when I grow up;) My parents and Sophie's parents are the two prime examples of love and sacrifice that I needed to shape my idea of a mature, healthy relationship. I love Sophie with all my heart, and it has been SO MUCH FUN to watch her learn and grow along side her wonderful brothers. And I can't tell you how lucky I am to have the family I have. They are beyond supportive and accepting of my story and the people within it. Sabyn (my younger sister) wants nothing more than to love on Sophie. Unfortunately Sophie pays little mind to anyone, so Sabyn is unable to do so but we're working on it. And Mom and Dad love her and the rest of her clan like the extended family they are. All in all, this holiday season was incredible and I got to spend it with the people I love most.
I could go through every detail of my time spent with the Mathesons but I don't want to sound like a creeper. So I'll just say the boys helped me blow out my candles (naturally:)), Sophie would not let me have my birthday balloons (naturally:)), and my boyfriend met her for the first time...not naturally. It was intense but went very well. I don't expect him to fall in love with her the way I am. And in fact, I've never expected anything, but he has surprised me at every turn with his acceptance and support and desire to become a part of my adoption story. Like I said, best December yet:)
I will post Christmas pictures later, I don't have them ready yet. But anyway, I just wanted to write about the good times. And let the world know that adoption, even with it's hard days, has been one of the best things to ever happen to me.
Now, let's talk New Years Resolutions. I'm not all about the weight loss, or better job, but can I raise a glass for marriage? Yup, you heard it. Wedding talk has been happenin' round here, and holy crap do I already have the jitters! I'm so excited but so nervous too. A few weeks ago I was on the phone with my mom and she asked me, "ShaNae, is there any part of you that feels bad or icky when you think about marrying Spenser?" and I stopped for a second then said, "Honestly, no. The only part of me that says STOP is the part of me that promised she'd never get married before the age of 25." But hey, life never does go according to plan and I've always been known to break the rules. Keeps life interesting:) So, though I don't have a ring on my finger, right now we're working to get some straight answers from the Big Man Himself. Once that happens, a proposal will follow. But wait, wasn't I planning on leaving to Africa for the summer? YUP. Engaged or not, I'm still going. Ya, it's going to be hard, and strange leaving my fiance for four months but I know I'm supposed to go, and next summer, maybe I'll be going as a package deal, I can only hope:) So, a year from now I may be married...that is still hard for me to wrap my head around but I'm excited. Excited to share my life with someone I love. I just hope he can keep up;) and put up with my stubborn attitude. But that's the thing about Spons, and my parents would agree, he is the one person who can. So, all in all, looks like the next four months are going to be action packed. I have school and work, both full time. I have money to raise for my trip to Africa, and I have a wedding to plan....woah. That's quite the load, but I'm excited to get it done. I want a lot in life and I expect a lot out of my future. But I know with strong conviction it can all happen. One of my favorite quotes was actually told to me for the first time by Spenser. It says "If you Want something bad enough to go out and fight for it. To work day and night for it. To give up your time, your peace and sleep for it. And all that you dream and scheme is about it. And life seems useless and worthless without it. And if you gladly sweat for it and fret for it and plan for it. And lose all your terror of the opposition for it. And if you simply go after that thing that you want with all of your capacity, strength and sagacity, faith, hope, and confidence and stern for tenacity. If neither cold, poverty, famish, or sickness, or pain of body and brain can keep you away from that thing that you want. If darker than grim , you besiege and beset it, with the help of God you'll get it." Well, I want to go to Africa and make a difference, then I want to get married and continue a life full of hard work, love, sacrifice, and adventure. And I want that more than anything. So, with God's help, looks like I'm on my way.
Till next time!
Obviously I have strong feelings about adoption. And this past month I have been SO grateful for the blessing it is in my life. I've had the amazing opportunity to speak on panels and at different high schools. And just recently I did a presentation at my very own American Fork High. It was fun to go back and see some familiar faces, but much more, share my story with my younger siblings and their friends in the room. We shared laughs and tears and it was one of the best adoption experiences I've ever had. I've also met some incredible adoptive couples and been introduced to their stories. I can't wait to see where this road takes them and I absolutely love and admire them for their strength. We also shared some good times with the Matheson clan as they spent time in our home for my birthday, and then for Christmas. They are the most beautiful family and I can't even express how much I love and adore every single one of them. Sophie is getting so big. She's talking, and boy does she have spirit. That girl is one spit fire. I tried to convince Troy and Rebecca that nurture was playing a bigger part than nature, but they are sure she's a mini me--completely stubborn and sassy. I can't say I'm sorry though, she needs those attributes in order to survive her fun-loving and adventurous brothers:)
During this holiday season we become centered on gratitude. I am so grateful for Troy and Rebecca. As I watch Sophie grow, and see how much she is loved and cared for I can not help but thank Heavenly Father for the amazing people she has to call Mom and Dad. They are two of the most incredible parents I've ever known. And parenting is hard. No one is perfect. But I want to be like them when I grow up;) My parents and Sophie's parents are the two prime examples of love and sacrifice that I needed to shape my idea of a mature, healthy relationship. I love Sophie with all my heart, and it has been SO MUCH FUN to watch her learn and grow along side her wonderful brothers. And I can't tell you how lucky I am to have the family I have. They are beyond supportive and accepting of my story and the people within it. Sabyn (my younger sister) wants nothing more than to love on Sophie. Unfortunately Sophie pays little mind to anyone, so Sabyn is unable to do so but we're working on it. And Mom and Dad love her and the rest of her clan like the extended family they are. All in all, this holiday season was incredible and I got to spend it with the people I love most.
I could go through every detail of my time spent with the Mathesons but I don't want to sound like a creeper. So I'll just say the boys helped me blow out my candles (naturally:)), Sophie would not let me have my birthday balloons (naturally:)), and my boyfriend met her for the first time...not naturally. It was intense but went very well. I don't expect him to fall in love with her the way I am. And in fact, I've never expected anything, but he has surprised me at every turn with his acceptance and support and desire to become a part of my adoption story. Like I said, best December yet:)
I will post Christmas pictures later, I don't have them ready yet. But anyway, I just wanted to write about the good times. And let the world know that adoption, even with it's hard days, has been one of the best things to ever happen to me.
Now, let's talk New Years Resolutions. I'm not all about the weight loss, or better job, but can I raise a glass for marriage? Yup, you heard it. Wedding talk has been happenin' round here, and holy crap do I already have the jitters! I'm so excited but so nervous too. A few weeks ago I was on the phone with my mom and she asked me, "ShaNae, is there any part of you that feels bad or icky when you think about marrying Spenser?" and I stopped for a second then said, "Honestly, no. The only part of me that says STOP is the part of me that promised she'd never get married before the age of 25." But hey, life never does go according to plan and I've always been known to break the rules. Keeps life interesting:) So, though I don't have a ring on my finger, right now we're working to get some straight answers from the Big Man Himself. Once that happens, a proposal will follow. But wait, wasn't I planning on leaving to Africa for the summer? YUP. Engaged or not, I'm still going. Ya, it's going to be hard, and strange leaving my fiance for four months but I know I'm supposed to go, and next summer, maybe I'll be going as a package deal, I can only hope:) So, a year from now I may be married...that is still hard for me to wrap my head around but I'm excited. Excited to share my life with someone I love. I just hope he can keep up;) and put up with my stubborn attitude. But that's the thing about Spons, and my parents would agree, he is the one person who can. So, all in all, looks like the next four months are going to be action packed. I have school and work, both full time. I have money to raise for my trip to Africa, and I have a wedding to plan....woah. That's quite the load, but I'm excited to get it done. I want a lot in life and I expect a lot out of my future. But I know with strong conviction it can all happen. One of my favorite quotes was actually told to me for the first time by Spenser. It says "If you Want something bad enough to go out and fight for it. To work day and night for it. To give up your time, your peace and sleep for it. And all that you dream and scheme is about it. And life seems useless and worthless without it. And if you gladly sweat for it and fret for it and plan for it. And lose all your terror of the opposition for it. And if you simply go after that thing that you want with all of your capacity, strength and sagacity, faith, hope, and confidence and stern for tenacity. If neither cold, poverty, famish, or sickness, or pain of body and brain can keep you away from that thing that you want. If darker than grim , you besiege and beset it, with the help of God you'll get it." Well, I want to go to Africa and make a difference, then I want to get married and continue a life full of hard work, love, sacrifice, and adventure. And I want that more than anything. So, with God's help, looks like I'm on my way.
Till next time!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Adoptive CoupleS Spotlight!:) (Continued)
Ok, so for some reason Blogger is being DUMB and won't let me publish both my spotlights together. so, here is the second half:)
Please meet Ryan and Kristen:
Okay, so here's a quick little story for y'all. One fine day, I received an email from a friend I met back in high school. I hope she doesn't mind if I use her name on here...because here it goes. Ryan and Kristen are the wonderful older sister and brother-in-law of Natalie Hullinger. Some of you may have heard of her, she's become an amazing and talented musical artist who just released her first CD titled, Chronic Case of Love. If you'd like to hear some of her stuff, or just look at her ADORABLE photos online (Sorry Natalie, I hope that doesn't sound too creepy) just log into facebook and go to http://www.facebook.com/MsNatalieNicoleMusic.
So, the email I received from Ms. Natalie asked me to check out her sister's adoption blog and consider giving them a spotlight on mine. So, I immediately went to their page and it took all of oh...two seconds to see how cute of a couple they are. Though Ryan and Kristin and I have never met in person, my heart goes out to them in their efforts to expand their family. They have been married for six years and are patiently waiting for their little baby to come home through adoption. Please take the time to check them out at http://www.weheartadoption.blogspot.com/.
As always, you wonderful adoptive couples are in my prayers and I can not wait to see where this road takes you. I wish you the best, and I will be keeping tabs. You men and women are incredible. Thanks for letting me spotlight you!
Till next time:)
Please meet Ryan and Kristen:
Okay, so here's a quick little story for y'all. One fine day, I received an email from a friend I met back in high school. I hope she doesn't mind if I use her name on here...because here it goes. Ryan and Kristen are the wonderful older sister and brother-in-law of Natalie Hullinger. Some of you may have heard of her, she's become an amazing and talented musical artist who just released her first CD titled, Chronic Case of Love. If you'd like to hear some of her stuff, or just look at her ADORABLE photos online (Sorry Natalie, I hope that doesn't sound too creepy) just log into facebook and go to http://www.facebook.com/MsNatalieNicoleMusic.
So, the email I received from Ms. Natalie asked me to check out her sister's adoption blog and consider giving them a spotlight on mine. So, I immediately went to their page and it took all of oh...two seconds to see how cute of a couple they are. Though Ryan and Kristin and I have never met in person, my heart goes out to them in their efforts to expand their family. They have been married for six years and are patiently waiting for their little baby to come home through adoption. Please take the time to check them out at http://www.weheartadoption.blogspot.com/.
As always, you wonderful adoptive couples are in my prayers and I can not wait to see where this road takes you. I wish you the best, and I will be keeping tabs. You men and women are incredible. Thanks for letting me spotlight you!
Till next time:)
Adoptive CoupleS Spotlight!:)
Let me just say it feels so good to sit down at my computer and write a blog post without having to worry about how much time I spend on it. Why? Because school is over! I just finished the semester and now I can breathe:) hopefully I'll get in a few good posts before it's on to the next semester, but for now I'd like to spot light two VERY adorable adoptive couples.
First, meet Jen and Josh Anderson:
These two are to-die-for cute and I have known them for many, many years. Jen was my Young Woman's leader back when I was a wee little one and she taught me many things, including how to waste at Dance Dance Revolution;) They have one little boy of their own, Mason, but are looking to expand their family even more. I will link up their profile page that is now published on itsaboutlove.org so you can check them out. Their profile is SO cute and so informative, read the letter, look at their pictures, and get to know them. I promise it's worth the time. So, if you like watching the Lying Game, or eating at Olive Garden, hey, they do too:) So click on https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/27100225/ourMessage.jsf.
First, meet Jen and Josh Anderson:
These two are to-die-for cute and I have known them for many, many years. Jen was my Young Woman's leader back when I was a wee little one and she taught me many things, including how to waste at Dance Dance Revolution;) They have one little boy of their own, Mason, but are looking to expand their family even more. I will link up their profile page that is now published on itsaboutlove.org so you can check them out. Their profile is SO cute and so informative, read the letter, look at their pictures, and get to know them. I promise it's worth the time. So, if you like watching the Lying Game, or eating at Olive Garden, hey, they do too:) So click on https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/27100225/ourMessage.jsf.
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